Ian turned up tonight looking haggard and wearing thongs and shorts and shedding sand. I think he thinks he’s fashionably dressed if his thongs match his t-shirt. Also, he was unshaven and as red as a beetroot. He doesn’t go back to work until Monday, so I think he’d spent the day on the beach with his family. I had the pleasure of rubbing calamine lotion all over him and then watching him go to sleep for two hours. No six white horses for me tonight. Not even a Shetland pony.
I need to make some changes.