Susan popped in to see me this morning, so I took the opportunity of asking her how she had succeeded so spectacularly in the face of the well-known culture of discrimination against women at work.
Well, she looked at me for a few seconds, I think wondering if I was a lost cause or not, and then said, quite forcefully, that I should get it into my head that I wasn’t discriminated against, by men or women, because I don’t have a penis, but rather because of my behaviour. Gave me quite a shock.
She continued to say that I could change things quickly, but only if I was willing to give up my convenient down-trodden-woman excuses for not doing difficult things. She said that if I started behaving differently, I would soon be viewed differently, and that she was proof of that.
I think she could see I was uncomfortable with this idea. It was quite foreign to me, and I was imagining what Liz would think of it. But Susan must have seen some hope in me, as she offered to mentor me if I wanted her to, and maybe give me weekly sessions for a while.
I said I didn’t want to end up like Stuart, but she said I didn’t have to model myself on the worst-behaved, most macho, A-type-personality in the workplace, but rather on the most analytical, least intimidateable, calmest, most knowledgeable and fair-minded person at work who shows courage and good judgement, who isn’t afraid of confrontation, and who has worked hard over a long period of time. The alternative was that I could spend the rest of my life not getting where I wanted, wherever that might be, but comforting myself by joining smug whinge sessions with my girlfriends or on social media.
When she put it like that, I thought why not give it a go. I wouldn’t mind being a bit more in control of my life. I’m fed up with being all habits and hormones. We’re having a session next Monday.
Yikes!