Woke up starving this morning. I think I ate three days’ food in four hours. It’s absolutely freezing, so I thought I’d treat myself, what with my recent trauma (having to see Wayne) and everything, and go back to bed with my electric blanket.
Just my luck, the blanket conked out on me. Agnes kindly said I could have hers, but it doesn’t fit and I couldn’t be bothered, so I tried a trick someone told me about and put a hot water bottle filled with cold water into the microwave. However, 5 minutes must have been too long, because it burst and boiling water went everywhere. Agnes took pity on me and told me to go to bed while she cleaned up the mess. After I’d gone to bed, she brought me another water bottle, filled up from the hot tap. Think I’ll revert to that system myself from now on.
I slept for a few hours and then got up and weighed myself. Wouldn’t you know it? I’m two kilograms heavier than what I was on Wednesday! Maybe it’s all that water they told me to drink. By the way, I don’t get this latest fashion of having to drink litres of water each day. It seems to me that you’re training your body to be really good at not conserving water. Did the aborigines used to do it when they lived in the desert? Listen to your body and drink when you’re thirsty, I say.
Anyway, it’s probably not a good idea to have colonoscopies to lose weight. There probably should be a medical reason as well.