To take my mind off things (Ian) I visited Grandpa today, Mum’s dad, at the Old Folks’ Home. I’ve really got to get a life.
That place houses so many weirdos. There’s Albert, this deaf bloke who plays the concertina endlessly; Norma, who plays the piano from 7am every day (sometimes at the same time as Albert is playing a different tune on his concertina); Doug, who walks around loudly reciting poetry while holding his toupee on his head; Ken, who is always insulting everyone; and Keith, who invites you to get into bed with him every time you visit. And they’re some of the saner ones.
Grandpa was quite irritated when I arrived. He said the physio had just been and had wanted to see how long Grandpa could stand on one leg for. Grandpa was heatedly of the opinion that that was a skill he would never require at this or any future stage of his life. Apparently, he fell over straight away.
Anyway, today I told Grandpa I was going to sit at his feet and learn from him. I really meant it. Unfortunately, all I learned was that he couldn’t remember much, that his socks needed washing and that he was angry that Bill Bristow used all the milk in the milk jug at breakfast this morning. I told Grandpa the staff are happy to refill the milk jug whenever it’s empty, but he remained quite hostile about it.
In desperation I asked Grandpa if he thought there was much point in sitting at the feet of an old person. He said he wouldn’t do it, as he hasn’t got much time for old people and that all the ones in there are dippy. That’s the only piece of wisdom I received from him today.
I don’t think this month’s saying of Donna’s is about to change my life.
Something has to.