Went down the beach this morning. There weren’t many cars in the car park. The SHG was in. Parked my car and was opening the door to get out when this bloke parks right next to me, causing me to have to squeeze out, legs akimbo, rather than exiting in my usual graceful manner. What is it with that? It must be some sort of human flocking instinct. Whatever it is, it’s annoying. By the time I returned there were five cars jammed up against each other in the middle of an otherwise empty car park. I think I’ll see where I can make them all park next time.
After I got home, I received a phone call from Gary, my feral half-brother. I shouldn’t call him that. He’s a nice man, actually, very gentle. He just lives in a universe that runs parallel with ours, occasionally touching it when he needs something. He’s lost his licence for life twice but he doesn’t mind. It doesn’t mean he now doesn’t know how to drive, and so he does. No problem.
He’s hard to understand when he speaks as, apart from being drug and alcohol and whatever addled, he also had a stroke about ten years ago, and his speech is slurred. At the time of his stroke, he’d been recently charged with possession of a considerable amount of marijuana, but because of the stroke he was deemed unfit to plead, and so the charges were dropped. He was really pleased.
Anyway, Gary had rung me for some advice, but I don’t think I was much help. He’s been trying to get a divorce from his wife Sandi, but she’s shot through with their two kids, Brie and Jemima, and no one knows where she is. I think Gary also has a wife in the Philippines, hence the desire for a divorce.
Gary lives in a caravan park, as Sandi kicked him out of their home a couple of years ago. What happened was that about 17 years ago Trevor, Gary’s brother, had a baby, James, with a lady named Sue, who happens to be Sandi’s mother. So, James is Gary’s brother-in-law as well as his nephew. I think it might make Sandi her own grandmother. Anyway, after Trevor, Sue shacked up with some loser called Ivan, and Sandi found out that Ivan was sexually assaulting young James, so she confronted Ivan, who beat her up, but she came home with James. Kudos Sandi. A restraining order was taken out against Ivan, so that he wasn’t to come near Sandi or Sue or James. However, not long after, Sue moved back in with Ivan. After he had sexually assaulted her son and beat her daughter up!
Anyway, unfortunately, a sixteen-year-old mate of James’ also moved in to Sandi’s with James (are you following all this?), and fat, middle-aged Sandi started having an affair with him, and kicked Gary out of his own home. I told you they live in a different universe from us.
Bottom line is Gary is trying to locate Sandi and his kids and asked me if I can help. I can make a few phone calls, I suppose, but not sure what else I can do. I’ve got problems of my own, although admittedly not as convoluted as this.